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demainvient) wrote2025-05-30 11:00 am
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Gustave asks him about telling the others. Verso understands. But he's so careful with Expeditioners, prefers helping them from afar when he can, trying to make sure the time he chooses to make himself known to them is right, if he even does it at all. As much as he fears their retribution and forcing his hand if they take him the wrong way, he also fears Renoir, watching like a hawk at his wayward son's poor decisions. He doesn't want to be the reason any Expedition faces his wrath. It's already happened more than once.
But Gustave keeps talking, tumbling a little over his words, and they're back at the opera house again, Gustave asking about seeing him tomorrow and then embarrassed at the words leaving his own mouth. Verso smiles, shifting where he's seated, sliding closer to him over the grass until he's pressed against his side, one hand reaching out to curve against his jawline and guide his head towards him. ]
I'm sorry it took so long, mon chou, but you'll have trouble getting rid of me now.
You have me. Tomorrow, and after. [ Unless something takes him away, of course, the Continent being what it is, but -- he means what he's saying, his thumb brushing against Gustave's lower lip. ] And you'll have me to yourself.
[ Playful, a touch of heat under the words, but also: no. Don't tell them yet. And probably not for a long, long while, if Verso is honest. ]
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He sighs, long and resigned, even as he lets Verso turn his face, even as his eft arm comes up to gently curve his hand there at Verso's arm. ]
I'm not good at this, Verso. And I don't like it. Lune, Sciel, Maelle... they trust me, I can't lie to them. And the longer it goes, the worse it'll be when they find out the truth.
[ A truth even he only knows some small part of, only what he's gleaned so far from Verso's evasive answers and the journals they've picked up along the way. One of them mentions Esquie's immortal friend... it has to be him, doesn't it?
He meets Verso's eyes, searching, his own solemn and inquisitive while the gleam of faint mischief sparkles there in Verso's. ]
I won't betray your trust. But I won't betray theirs, either. There's only four of us left, we have to be able to rely on one another.
Just let me tell them I've met someone. I won'tโ I won't tell them your name, or anything else until you're ready, I'll tell them you're only comfortable talking to me for now, I just...
[ His fingers tighten a little on Verso's arm, his other hand coming to rest on Verso's side, curving there. ]
Don't make me lie to them, please. Especially not Maelle.
[ His small smile is as wry as the breath he huffs out. ]
She hates liars.
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But this is a reminder, as unwelcome as it is, that -- he's still just playing pretend. Still lying to him, still lying to everyone, and even if he's willing to give Gustave some truths there are certainly others that he would never tell. Verso is still working to his own ends, and as much as Gustave has carved a little place for himself in his heart, has shamelessly given Verso a piece of his. He doesn't deserve it. He simply can't. Gustave hates lying, and Verso is here, lying through his teeth as easily as he breathes.
Especially when he mentions Maelle, something in him aches. How much he has to lie to him about Alicia, about Maelle, hurts the most -- he's seen how much they clearly mean to each other, how Gustave would do anything for her. But especially when it comes to her -- drawing Renoir's attention could be disastrous. ]
Gustave. If there was a better way, I wouldn't ask this of you.
But this -- [ his hand slides from Gustave's jaw to his hair, careful not to upset the flower tucked behind his ear, curving against the back of his neck. ] -- This isn't just for me. It's better for you, and for them.
[ For Maelle. ]
Just -- hold off a while longer.
[ The right time may never come. But maybe it will. ]
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He hates this. As much as some cautious, giddy happiness has bubbled up in him to have Verso back, to find that he's not dead after all, that they have some time, he hates that this is, for some reason he doesn't wholly understand, part of it.
Verso doesn't know the team. He has no reason to trust them yet, he points out to himself. He's clearly a man with many secrets, secrets he hasn't even trusted Gustave with yet, so maybe... maybe he can understand. For now. ]
All right.
[ It's low, murmured, and deeply reluctant. His lips press, already unhappy with it, but Gustave just shakes his head gently, lightly rolling his forehead against Verso's before he leans back with a heavy breath. ]
For a little while longer.
[ He's just going to have to come up with something that isn't a lie and isn't anything Verso doesn't want him to say. Lune and Sciel trust him enough, he thinks, to leave it alone if he asks. But he can only push them so far, and Maelle...
He visibly shifts gears, switching from one mode of questioning to another, at the memory of Maelle's frightened face and quick, terrified breaths. ]
That man, the one from the beach. Renoir. My sister, Maelle, she's been having nightmares... she says she saw him, him and a, a woman, in camp one night.
[ None of the rest of them had seen anything, and Maelle had been awake... he doesn't understand it, but it isn't as though he hasn't seen his fair share of people who couldn't be here, himself. ]
We're not prepared to meet him again, not yet, but if you know... if you know anything that might help... where he goes, does he have a weakness, how can we... is there even a way to fight him? To beat him?
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A chill runs through Verso's spine. He knows Renoir and Alicia both must be aware of Maelle, but he doesn't know what they may have done about it, up til now. These days he only sees Alicia so rarely, and Renoir he avoids at any at all costs, and both of them are more than capable of moving through the Continent sight unseen, or projecting themselves through chroma and the void. That Maelle has seen them shouldn't surprise him, but it does.
Renoir -- he knows why Renoir would want to see her, knows he'd be working to push her out of the canvas as soon as he can. Alicia and where she lies on that spectrum is different, but what Verso immediately latches onto is the thought of her watching Maelle, reminded of how she's a living, breathing shadow, painted in scars and pain while Maelle --
Breathe. Focus. He really can't let Gustave see any of this. ]
Renoir is more powerful than you may even realize. He'll heal from just about anything, and it'd take significant power to really hurt him in any real way.
[ Not a Painter in truth, but painted like one, and with all of Aline's favor. His hand drops from Gustave's nape to his shoulder, still staying close, touching him just to have some of that contact, but -- his mind is working. The previous Expeditions, there'd been nothing to do but to tell them to run. The lumina converter . . . He still doesn't fully understand how that thing works, but if anything could give them a chance. What it's been doing for them so far has been nothing short of impressive. ]
The best option is to run. You should always run.
But, should worse come to worst . . . I can teach you to at least defend against some of his attacks. But all it'd do is buy time.
[ Gradient counters may still be enough to catch Renoir off guard, to buy him enough time to run. But it won't do anything to hurt Renoir. ]
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But if they're in a situation where Renoir is attacking them again, then maybe what he'll need to do is create time, time for Maelle to get away, time for them all to get away, if they can. His jaw firms, a stubborn shift to it that Maelle would recognize, and maybe even Lune or Sciel. ]
Time might be just what we need. So, yes... teach me. Whatever you think might help.
[ And whatever Verso can teach him, he can imbue with power from the lumina converter. The harder the attack, the more powerful the counter would be. Yes... it could be something. A real option... or at least one that will help him keep Maelle safe.
He lets out a breath, his shoulder loosening under Verso's hand, and gives him a wry look. ]
But don't worry. I'm not planning on doing anything but running. I hear that cane and I amโ
[ He pushes a hand out in front of him in a wide gesture, like he's talking to Maelle, trying to get her to laugh. ]
โOff like a shot.
[ It's the first thing he's said to Verso that's anything even slightly like a lie.
(He caught the look in those clear, fog-colored eyes. Verso's worried, he know Renoir's strength better than any of them. No need to make him worry about this, too, when Verso's already keeping an eye on him, making sure he doesn't run off any cliffs.) ]
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He should be running. Maybe teaching him any of this is making things worse. Making them think they have a chance, when they don't. There's a beat too long when that gesture ends, where Verso doesn't quite respond, where it's very, very clear that he doesn't at all believe what Gustave is saying.
But then he smiles, wry. ]
The sound of that damn cane gives me nightmares, too.
[ Let alone Maelle.
He moves his free hand to catch one of Gustave's, callused fingers soothing over the back of his hand, thumb curving against his wrist. ]
Gradient energy. That was what I was using yesterday -- I can teach you, and you might be able to teach your friends.
[ He lifts an eyebrow, a lopsided smirk. ]
We can have a bit of a spar. And I'll teach you.
[ Now, or later, after more questions, or another time -- though Verso is already thinking of the night before. Watching Gustave fight, clean and graceful, a gorgeous vision of lethal precision with that shirt hanging open and his trousers slung too-low around his hips.
He wouldn't mind seeing something like that again. ]
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For his part, Gustave laughs, willing enough to leave the subject of the white-haired man for the moment. What Verso has already told him is helpful enough for the moment: maybe he can't be stopped, but he can be slowed down. ]
You're as bad as Maelle. She's always trying to get me to duel her.
[ And she wins as often as not, quick as she is with that rapier of hers. Gustave laces their fingers together and lifts Verso's hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles, sweet and fond, the way he might if they were sitting at a streetside cafe in Lumiรจre, chatting over cups of coffee and fresh-baked madeleines. ]
... But I think we may still be too close to camp for a sparring session, if you don't want Lune and Sciel to interrupt mid-way through. They already think I've had one run-in with a Nevron without them around.
[ Which was true, just... not entirely. But this is also a good opportunity for him to say, more easily than he feels: ]
Tomorrow, maybe.
[ Tomorrow. As if it really is a certainty that he'll see Verso again then. Tomorrow night, a little further from camp, somewhere they won't alarm the girls with the sound of fighting.
He'd like to see Verso fight again, he thinks. His intensity, the way he moved, the deadly perfect grace and athleticism. Just the memory has Gustave's eyes darkening a little, recalling the way he'd looked, chest heaving and shirt falling loose around him, the look in his eyes still predatory and focused.
Not really a fit with this calm, peaceful little clearing, here by the gently running river, but something to look forward to again later all the same. ]
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Tomorrow. [ There wasn't as much doubt in him this time, Verso notices, and at the very least he isn't just second-guessing himself, uncertain for even trying to ask to see him again. Maybe Gustave is starting to believe him, after all. ] And further away. I'd really prefer to not be kicked in the head by one of your friends misreading the situation and rushing in to help you.
[ He's seen what they can do. He could heal it off, sure, but he sure still wouldn't like it.
Verso does see that flicker of something in Gustave's eyes -- remembering something, imagining something, he isn't sure. But just enough of his pupils dilating, something in them darkening. He watches it cross his expression with some fascination, and then, pulling his hand from Gustave's cards his fingers back through his hair ( around the flower, he likes it there ), tipping his head back slightly as he leans over him to catch his mouth in his own.
This kiss lingers, a heat coiling in his stomach and reaching out, wanting to see more of that something in Gustave's eyes, wanting to feel him, wanting to taste him. He urges Gustave's mouth open until he can tongue past his lips to taste him, sinking into it with a low growl. The things he wants to do -- He knows Gustave did say they wouldn't get anywhere else if he started, but. How is he supposed to help himself?
His other hand roams up over Gustave's chest, jacket, waistcoat, buttons -- the straps. He plucks at one a bit idly before breaking from the kiss, mouthing down the side of his neck with a huff of something amused and maybe just a little genuinely irritated both. ]
-- These damn uniforms.
[ There's so much in the way! ]
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Probably for the best. You wouldn't enjoy it. Believe me when I say they all hit a lot harder than they look like they can.
[ And they all look like they can hit pretty damn hard.
But Verso's not thinking about that anymore, it seems; he's distracted, the way he holds himself turning just slightly toward coiled, like he's ready to pounce at any second.
And pounce he does, leaning in to catch Gustave's mouth with his, a little like those first kisses back in the garden when he'd been so intent, coaxing Gustave to part his lips and open his mouth so he can kiss him more deeply, tongue sinking into his mouth and drawing a sharp, guttural groan from Gustave's chest. Merde, this man really might be the death of him, and not the other way around.
Gustave reaches for him, hands at his shoulders, his arms, until he realizes what Verso's doing and finds himself laughing again, eyes crinkled, breathless, against that mouth that he kisses once more and once again. ]
Through with talking, are we?
[ Amused, even as he lifts his own hands to the buckles that keep his pack strapped securely to his back. He'd been careless with it the day before, but this time he loosens it and sets it and the lumina converter that dangles from it carefully to the side before reaching to get his hands back on Verso. He runs his palms up the man's side, over the lines of this unfamiliar uniform with its sash and tassels and buckles. ]
I did think about changing before coming out here, but that seemed like it would be even more suspicious than everything else.
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He pulls away just enough to let Gustave shrug off his pack, his eyes briefly lingering on the lumina converter before his attention is stolen back by Gustave's hands on his sides. The sound he makes is low and appreciative, rumbling in his chest, leaning in to mouth a more heated kiss along his jawline as his fingers pluck at one of the buttons of his waistcoat. ]
-- We can keep talking, if you have more questions. [ Which undoubtedly, Gustave does. ] I'm just -- multitasking.
[ And maybe that'll make it hard to focus, but as far as he's concerned, that isn't his fault. Gustave is right here next to him, warm and real after all these years, he can't help himself, and Gustave hardly seems to mind. His hand keeps at his waistcoat, his other hand sliding down to settle over one of his thighs, squeezing nicely, enough to feel the muscle under his palm through his clothes. ]
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[ Laughing, even as he lets Verso toy with the button on his waistcoat, as he himself starts idly working at the sash that's wrapped around the man's trim waist. ]
I call it distraction tactics, pure and simple.
[ More than likely, that is, in fact, part of it. It's clear Verso has things to hide, based on his evasions of earlier, though he's been reasonably forthcoming thus far. Perhaps it's because Gustave has been asking about Renoir, not about himself. ]
Maybe it's for the best we were never able to have a date out in Lumiรจre. You'd have to try and keep your hands off me for the length of a whole dinner.
[ And vice versa, really. Certainly he has no qualms with letting his hands work that sash free, or with Verso's palms and fingers running over him from chest to thigh, making him shiver. He's seen this man now three โ no, four times, counting tonight, four times in three years. It isn't enough; it's a wonder they managed to start by talking at all. ]
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I just can't help myself around you.
[ He really can't. Verso pops open under button until he can pull the waistcoat open, running his hand up and down over the undershirt beneath, making some appreciative sound at how much more he can feel of him, warm solid muscle just barely separated from his touch by a thin layer of fabric. The uniform does err on the side of being cumbersome more than enticing, but with some of it a bit out of the way, Verso leaning back to get another look at him, his eyes roaming steadily over his body -- he does see the appeal. ]
I think I would've been smart enough to pick us a more -- secluded table. Somewhere in the corner. [ Tucked away in the corner of this theoretical restaurant, a nice view through the window but otherwise partly shadowed except for a nice candle. Verso ducks his head to mouth a kiss to his throat, hand moving to the topmost button of that undershirt. ] So I could maybe see -- how much you'd let me get away with.
My hand on your thigh. Touching you as we talked.
[ If this sounds like a specific fantasy rather than something he's making up on the fly, its because, well. It is. Two years is a very long time. ]
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The sash finally parts under his fingers, sliding down to Verso's hips, and he lifts his left hand to carefully undo the cord that's slung from one side of his chest to the other. His right, he shifts down, curving it over Verso's thigh, his thumb running idly over firm muscle through the fabric, just like the man is describing. ]
I think I would find that very distracting. I might even have a hard time finishing my sentences, if you had your hand on my leg under the table like that.
[ His chuckle rumbles in his throat, under the gentle kisses Verso is placing there. ]
Unusual for me, I know.
[ As if he hadn't stumbled over sentences the very first night he met Verso, taken aback by his beauty, by his songs, by the barest hint of a kiss brushed over his knuckles. ]
And then what? You've picked us a table in the shadows for a reason, monsieur le pianiste. Will you stop at my thigh?
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His eyes flick up, lips curved into a smirk, eyes dark when he meets Gustave's gaze. A small appreciative tumble in his throat from Gustave's hand over his thigh. ]
I like when you get like that.
[ Its cute. Endearing. Genuinely, he'd found it horrifically disarming that first night at the opera house, and even more disarming every time since -- but he also likes knowing he has that effect on him. That he can make his words stumble, his thoughts stop. ]
I think I won't, mon chou. [ Verso leans up, pressing another kiss to his lips, lighter, sweeter -- and starting to mouth across his cheek and jaw, over rough scruff to his ear. ] I'd lean close, keep up our lively conversation. Ask you questions, keep you talking.
And all the while I'd be pulling your pants open. Until I could touch you.
[ And would he have really done that, in their theoretical date in Lumiere? Maybe. Maybe not. It doesn't matter. Right now the image is appealing, Gustave dressed nicely for the occasion but coming apart little by little even as he tries to hold himself together. ]
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Verso.
[ Breathed on a laugh, half-indulgent and half-scolding, all affection โ you wouldn't really be feeling him up in public, would you, Verso? โ even as he lets the fantasy coalesce in his mind's eye.
And it is a fantasy, he has no doubt, one of many, going by what Verso had suggested before, and it rocks him all over again, how much Verso had thought about him. That Verso had missed him, longed for him, just as much as he had longed for Verso. All those times he lay back in that garden, staring up at the golden gleam of the dome overhead and imagining that Verso was there beside him, Verso was here, doing something similar. Piecing together what-ifs and might-have-beens, indulging in daydreams where they took each other apart slow and fast and every other possible way in between.
He can imagine it so easily: the low murmur of sound in the restaurant, Verso's voice full of mock innocence, the taste of the wine, his own discomfort and rising desire. His gut twists, heat beginning to chase its way through his veins, simply from the low words Verso is speaking quietly into his ear.
His breath hitches a little as he works that cord free, starts on the buttons of Verso's uniform coat. The desperation of yesterday isn't wholly gone from the way he touches the man, the way he works at those fastenings, but he tells himself sternly to slow down, not to rush. They have time, even if it's not as much as he'd like. ]
That would be very cruel of you, mon cher, teasing me that way. Don't you know how helpless I am in your hands?
And you'd touch me anyway, knowing how hard it would be not to come for you even there?
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He growls a little against his ear, leaning into his touch, encouraging as Gustave starts to work on his coat. Verso's own movements are starting to get a bit of that edge of impatience back even as he knows he has more time, part of him still not entirely convinced that Gustave, beautiful as he is, still isn't going to somehow vanish in a dream. ]
-- That would be exactly why I'd do it, Gustave.
I'd touch you slowly at first, working you up, making you answer more questions -- and when you got closer, I'd stop. [ A sharp nip against his ear, voice low and heated. ] I'd tease you. Stop touching you. Keep talking to you until you started to catch your breath, and then start touching you again.
[ Verso imagines himself dressed nicely for the night, too, one hand around the stem of a wine glass, rolling it idly in his palm, eyes lidded as he teases Gustave under the table, as he works to keep him right on the edge. ]
I'd keep you that way until you couldn't stand it. [ A smile. ] Until you asked me, loud enough for someone to hear, to let you come.
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Not so Verso, who simply keeps going, his breath hot against the sensitive shell of Gustave's ear, fingers maddening where they work at the straps across his chest, and Gustave can see it. The dim light, Verso dressed in a suit not unlike his own, relaxed and sly with his hand slipped under a white tablecloth. His own fingers gripping into Verso's thigh like that might keep him grounded, like his breath wouldn't be coming too fast and his whole body shiver with every teasing stroke of the man's hand. ]
And then?
[ Already his own voice is a little too tight, his breath a little lighter, a little more rapid. They're alone and they have time โ hours, he hopes; Sciel is a lot less likely than Lune to try and come find him, she'll give him the time alone that he asked for โ and all he wants is to push this strange Expedition uniform from off Verso's shoulders, off his body, and lay him down right here in this soft grass.
He wants to see him, finally โ all of him, his whole perfect body. He wants to see the way his muscles twitch and flicker as Gustave brushes kisses and runs hands over them, wants to see his hips arch up, wants to feel every shiver like it's his own. ]
When you've had your wicked way with me at the table, will it just be bonne nuit, fais de beaux rรชves before you leave me for the night?
Or would you let me walk you home, all the way to your door, where I could ask to come in for a cup of coffee just so I could have you up against the door the moment it closed, after you'd been driving me mad all night long?
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He's though of a thousand different ways he could have Gustave coming apart beneath him or above him or anywhere else. He wishes they have the time to go through every single one, and to learn a thousand more with each other, with the man finally here in his arms.
Verso helps Gustave slightly with his jacket, shrugging it off from his shoulders, but his own attention is focused elsewhere, now. Plucking at another button of his undershirt, again lathing his tongue over the newly exposed stretch of skin, tugging his shirt aside enough that he can let his teeth catch over a nipple. In his imagination he sees Gustave breathless at the table, biting his lower lip to try and keep himself from crying out too loudly as Verso squeezes his hand around him and sips his wine. ]
I might've just left you. [ A bit of a laugh, against his ear. ] If only because I'd love to think of how much you'd dream of me, that night.
[ It does make him ache to think of how desperately Gustave has missed him all this time -- but the mental image of the man alone on his own bed, spread out and half-tousled from sleep, waking from a dream to fist a hand around himself and bring himself up and up until he spills with his name on his lips . . . That's an image he savors. ]
But I wouldn't be able to help myself, I think. A taste of you over wine at dinner, and it wouldn't be enough of mon Monsieur le fleuriste.
So you could have me. [ A smile, lifting his head from his chest to press another kiss to his mouth. ] Up against my door.
How will you take your revenge on me, for being so wicked?
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I would dream of you anyway.
[ And he did, often, more often than he could understand when he'd only known the man for a few short hours. How had Verso managed to slip so thoroughly under his skin, to take up residence so easily in his head? He'd dreamed of nights very much like this one, of waking up to find Verso asleep beside him in his bed. He'd like to see that, he thinks: Verso, laid out and quiet and relaxed, vulnerable in his sleep, breathing easy with the sheets muddled somewhere down around his hips.
But back to the danger: he really should have expected it, Verso turning the question around on him. And it's certainly not that he hasn't indulged in fantasies of his own โ or even this specific fantasy, one that took root in wanting revenge for Verso leaving, for Verso being the one to pin him against that trellis and taking him apart with such efficiency โ but the thought of speaking it aloud is like staring over a massive ravine with no visible grapple point on the other side.
Easier to play along with the picture Verso had been painting, letting it carry him away, a fantasy that really had next to no basis in reality because reality would see him turning beet red and embarrassed; far from the seductive ideal.
And he's embarrassed now, too, cheeks flushing more warmly now than when he offered those flowers, his glance shifting away, abashed. ]
Wellโ Iโ
[ What a time for all his words to pile up and die on his tongue, sentences he's not even sure he can half start, let alone finish. Whatever Verso says about liking it when he gets that way, confused and tongue-tied, he's sure it doesn't apply to moments like these. ]
I'm not... very good at this, Verso.
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He stays close, kissing gently at the corner of Gustave's cheek, and he feels the warmth in his cheeks before he sees it, notices how he glances away. The corner of his mouth quirks up -- he's nervous. Nervous, embarrassed, unsure what to say when asked to tell him just what he'd do after he has his Monsieur le pianiste trapped against a door.
He can hear how anxious he when the words continue, like he's not just unsure but genuinely anticipating Verso being somehow unhappy or unsatisfied with this. And Verso laughs, the sound soft and breathless against his cheek but not at all mocking, one hand lifting to card through his hair, gentle, comforting, neatly avoiding that yellow flower still tucked behind his ear. The kiss he presses to his mouth is sweet and kind -- and still tinged with heat, by the way his teeth catches at his lower lip, by the quiet growl in his chest. ]
Okay.
[ Just a simple acceptance: He's not good at this. That's fine. That doesn't bother him, and if the look in his eyes is any indicator when he leans back a bit to look at him -- he might even like it. Still turned on, still on the edge of so much want it feels almost desperate, but smiling, too. Amused. Fond. Something deeply aching shining through his gaze. He's had countless fantasies about this man over the years, and is perfectly aware that not all of them are grounded in reality -- but when he's so earnest, so sweet, so willing to open himself up to him, Verso may have already assumed that he might need to be the one to lead him into certain pastures. ]
-- You're really cute, like this. [ His voice rumbling so much it might as well be a purr, eyes lidded as his hands move up between them, taking this chance to work at Gustave's jacket and scarf, working to push them off of his shoulders completely. Yes, Verso had said he likes when he gets tongue-tied, and yes, Verso had meant it. Even here, even now, that wanting look in his gaze is evident, not just unaffected by his blunder but clearly charmed by it. ] We can always work on it, if you want.
[ Practice makes perfect -- but only if Gustave actually wants to. If he thinks he isn't good at it, would rather not, either, due to discomfort or otherwise -- Verso won't push it, not now, not later. Another sweeter kiss, soft and pressed to his cheek, just to reassure him of the truth of that -- and then already his lips are drifting back towards his ear. A low, rumbling murmur. ]
But, right now. [ A smirk. ] Do you want to keep hearing me?
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Which is happening a lot, and he really does need to get himself under control when it comes to Verso. There's so much he needs to know, so much they need to talk about, he shouldn't be indulging himself like this, lifting his own hands to help Verso remove his scarf and jacket and setting them aside near his pack. Even with the promise of tomorrow, again, he shouldn't be wasting time.
But how heartbreaking to have to think of this, of losing himself in Verso and sinking into him the way he would into a warm bath, of grasping a little happiness for himself amid a world of horrors and exhaustion and the promise of death in less than a year, as wasting time. In a just world, a fair world, they could spend as much time as they like learning each other, teasing, playing, losing themselves in kisses and touches. He would be able to ask Verso questions just to get to know this beautiful man who has so thoroughly stolen his heart away, not because Verso has intelligence his team needs to survive. He hates it almost as much as he craves Verso's touch, his heated words, his lips against his skin.
He huffs a helpless, breathless laugh, sliding his hand up into Verso's hair and dragging him close, left arm tight around him. ]
This really isn't the kind of information I should be asking you for, you know.
[ And he is conscious of just how frustrated his team is likely to be if โ when? โ they find out that he's spent this time with a man who has lived since the Fracture and used it not to learn more, but simply to... be with him. The pressure is relentless; who is he to decide he can simply let go of it, even for a little while?
And still he can't let go of Verso, can't make himself push the man away. Every part of him is still yearning for more, as if he might wake up back in that bed in Lumiรจre, alone and aching for him. And he has to admit, because he knows Verso would hear the lie if he tried to say anything else: ]
But... yes. Yes, I want to hear you.
[ He does want to hear it, these impossible things falling off those lips. So far as he knows, nobody has ever thought about him like this before, wanted him like this before; why would they? He tried to be friendly and kind, a thoughtful colleague and a trusted friend, but none of that is precisely the stuff feverish fantasies involving mouths and hands and skin and shadowy corners are made of. ]
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It's nice. It's good. It makes some quiet part of his heart sing, the same part of him that he'd forgotten was there until Gustave had somehow found it and dug it up with his own hands, carved a place in it just for him. He lets himself be dragged close, smiling against his mouth, peppering more kisses across his cheek and neck, that smile widening even more when Gustave tells him, yes.
These aren't the kinds of questions he should be asking. But for everything Gustave should do, has to do, its nice to just do something he wants to instead, and Verso is the same. So much of his life bent towards lies and deceptions and just one mission, so much of his own happiness sacrificed towards that end. Shouldn't he make some choices, sometimes? Just for himself?
Slowly, Verso shifts against him, a hand against his shoulder, pushing him down to lay him out across the soft grass. This is definitely nicer than it had been the night before, and he even has enough time now to reach up and shrug his own jacket completely off his shoulders, gathering it up along with the sash Gustave has already pulled open and pool them behind Gustave's head. Not a bed, not fresh linen sheet that smell of both of them from a night's sleep shared together before, but -- close enough, for what they have, for what they can do. ]
-- I used to imagine playing at the opera house, again.
[ A real dream he's had, time and time again -- clearly not as heated as the other, at least not initially, and Verso has absolutely picked something like that on purpose. He leans down over him, pulling open what's left of his shirt and running his hands down over his chest as he kisses at his bruise-covered neck ]
As an actual pianist. To a crowded hall. I'd already have a bouquet on the piano -- a gift from mon Monsieur le fleuriste, before the show started. [ Mostly purple flowers, in his imagination, like the ones that Gustave had given him before. he sighs, gently urging Gustave's legs apart so he can settle himself between them, making it easier to press his body down against Gustave's, kissing down from his neck to the dip his throat. ] I'd look for your face in the crowd before I played. And after, during my bows.
And when everyone else is pouring outside -- You'd come look for me backstage.
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Gustave sinks back, letting Verso coax him down into the soft grass. It almost smells like being back in that garden, the scent of green and growing things, but it's mixed now with wet rock and river water and the breeze through the trees around them instead of the floral, salt-spiked air of Lumiรจre. But it doesn't matter, because Verso is there, tucking his jacket and sash between Gustave's head in the grass so that every time he breathes in, he catches wisps of his scent, headier than any cologne.
He settles back, but not without letting his own hands roam along Verso's shirt, undoing button after button until it's open and loose and he can push it off the man's shoulders completely. This, too, is a fantasy of its own: he's only ever seen Verso undone and mussed, but never with his shoulders and arms and body totally bare. Gustave coaxes at it, wanting to see the blue light of the chromatic tree gleaming over his bared skin, to run his hands over his shoulders and arms with no cloth in the way.
And he listens as his hands work, playing out the images Verso's describing in his mind's eye. Verso, neatly dressed in a suit for a performance, a bouquet of fresh flowers already there waiting for him atop the piano. Himself there in the crowd, feeling like the two of them are the only ones in that packed theatre.
He tips his head back into the soft material of the jacket, shivering as Verso's lips brush over tender, sore skin at his throat, easily letting him settle there between his thighs. ]
I would feel as though you were playing only to me, mon Monsieur le pianiste.
[ Verso, there in the spotlight, sweeping away an entire crowd and collecting them easily in his hand. Gustave smiles at the thought; how proud he would be, how delighted, how much he would love seeing Verso get to perform the way he deserves.
And then... ]
Yes, I would.
[ That much of this dream he might easily have dreamed himself: slipping backstage, along the narrow corridors, his heart in his throat and still glowing with pride and the reflected light shining off Verso himself. ]
And where would I find you? Some small dressing room, maybe?
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I would be playing just for you.
[ There is part of Verso that's always liked performing, showing off in front of a crowd, and while he did study at the Conservatory, had his fair share of performances -- he could never shake the anxiety that came with them. Music pulls more truth out of him than anything else does, like he can't help himself but play to his soul, and part of him hated that as much as he craved it.
But with Gustave in a crowd -- he knows he wouldn't care. He'd find his smiling face in the crowd in the dark, and he'd play for him, just for him, trying to pour everything into his fingers and the keys and every sweet note that he always sees in his eyes, matching that earnest vulnerability in the only way he knows how.
He really does need to play for him again. His fingers twitch where they're pressed over Gustave's body, hands roaming hungrily over his skin as he too pulls open the last of Gustave's shirt, pulling it off his shoulders and arms. He immediately leans down to from his shoulder and down, hands sliding up over Gustave's hands, his bare arms, feeling warm skin and cool metal under his touch both. He's beautiful, he's perfect, all lean and toned, moonlight and blue light catching at every line and curve of muscle. ]
Yes. A small room. I think you'd know it was mine. [ the opera house's backstage facilities are humble and functional, and Gustave would know which room he'd typically use when he performed because -- this wouldn't be the first time. Importantly, in this dream, this isnt the first show like this, nor is it the last. The most fantastical of all, this would be -- normal. Pattern. A habit. Something they fall into with each other, because of all the time they've had with each other and all the time they had in the future. A little shiver runs through his spine, he hates how indulgent even that fantasy has to be -- easier to focus on other things. ] You'd come in, excited and babbling. Telling me what you liked even if it was a performance you'd heard a dozen times before, telling me how much you know everyone liked it, about how someone you knew from work was in the crowd because you'd finally convinced them to come hear me play, and you know they didn't regret it.
[ Sweet, excitable, and just wanting to show off his Monsieur le pianiste. He smiles. ]
And I'd want to listen to you, but I'd also just --
[ Verso leans down, stretching himself out over him, a small pleased sound in his throat just from feeling them fit against each other, bare skin against bare skin with nothing in the way. One hand moves to twist into his own jacket tucked behind Gustave's head, bracing himself, the other carding through his hair, still careful to let that little yellow flower stay where it is as he kisses him, full and deeply. It's mostly sweet, at first, but it doesn't take long at all to gain an edge, to have more of that roiling hunger deep in his belly take over, drowning a wanting moan against his mouth and tongue as his fingers leave his hair and trace down over his body to start undoing the front of his trousers. ]
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