[ It's a good instinct to have, because Verso absolutely still has a non-zero chance of just disappearing. Resigned to having to look for a more graceful exit from an actual conversation, but. Still looking for a way out.
Once Gustave is working a little on his arm, it gives Verso a bit more breathing room, too -- studying his actions with genuine interest and curiosity ( the machinery looks complex, delicate, but clearly robust enough to take a hell of a beating given everything he's just seen -- well built to purpose ), but also just. Studying him. Without that distinct stiffness in him that was very clearly cast in his direction, Verso can see more of what he remembers. The kindness in his eyes, crinkling slightly at the corners. Light catching against the the soft curls of his hair.
The statement catches him a bit off guard. Naively hoping they might just quietly agree to not talk about it. A pang of guilt -- he may not have fully wanted to lead him on, but he still absolutely did, and with full knowledge of what he was doing. But in the moment, he'd just wanted to act. To seize on that connection they clearly had, in that fleeting moment, that had somehow felt like it could actually mean something even when Verso already knew that it simply never could.
Verso lowers his gaze, uncertain. What's useful now? Maybe playing into things a bit would actually help the situation. Maybe it's awful that he's even thinking about things that way at all. Maybe he just needs to get the fuck over his guilt, because he's already told a thousand lies and will tell a thousand more to get the people around him where he needs them, and he should just be used to it, shouldn't he. ]
I -- [ he wets his lower lip with his tongue. ]
-- I did leave an apology.
[ He knew he would hurt him, but also hoped it would be forgotten in a few months. A blip in another man's life. Perhaps he should feel a bit flattered that it lingered longer, except that emotion doesn't make it through all the layers of guilt. He was already lying to him then, in a dozen different ways Gustave has no way of even knowing, and -- he's still lying to him now. That's all he ever does. All he can do. ]
no subject
Once Gustave is working a little on his arm, it gives Verso a bit more breathing room, too -- studying his actions with genuine interest and curiosity ( the machinery looks complex, delicate, but clearly robust enough to take a hell of a beating given everything he's just seen -- well built to purpose ), but also just. Studying him. Without that distinct stiffness in him that was very clearly cast in his direction, Verso can see more of what he remembers. The kindness in his eyes, crinkling slightly at the corners. Light catching against the the soft curls of his hair.
The statement catches him a bit off guard. Naively hoping they might just quietly agree to not talk about it. A pang of guilt -- he may not have fully wanted to lead him on, but he still absolutely did, and with full knowledge of what he was doing. But in the moment, he'd just wanted to act. To seize on that connection they clearly had, in that fleeting moment, that had somehow felt like it could actually mean something even when Verso already knew that it simply never could.
Verso lowers his gaze, uncertain. What's useful now? Maybe playing into things a bit would actually help the situation. Maybe it's awful that he's even thinking about things that way at all. Maybe he just needs to get the fuck over his guilt, because he's already told a thousand lies and will tell a thousand more to get the people around him where he needs them, and he should just be used to it, shouldn't he. ]
I -- [ he wets his lower lip with his tongue. ]
-- I did leave an apology.
[ He knew he would hurt him, but also hoped it would be forgotten in a few months. A blip in another man's life. Perhaps he should feel a bit flattered that it lingered longer, except that emotion doesn't make it through all the layers of guilt. He was already lying to him then, in a dozen different ways Gustave has no way of even knowing, and -- he's still lying to him now. That's all he ever does. All he can do. ]