[ He had been happy, being there with Maelle as she grew up, having evenings and weekends and holidays with her and Emma, the little family he'd loved so much. It's one of the reasons he'd decided he wanted children after all, after helping her negotiate her way from childhood into teendom.
He wishes he could see the woman she'll become. ]
Do you remember when you first came to stay with us, and I would come read by your bedside to help you fall asleep?
[ His voice, as low and soothing as he could make it as he read from whatever was on hand: storybooks, sometimes; newspapers at others. Once in a while he'd even use some of his engineering texts: a surefire way to put her to sleep quickly. ]
[Previous families had tried to read to her, but Gustave made it feel comfortable and safe. Even if the threat of nightmares frightened her, she would look forward to whatever bedtime story he would have. Eventually, it felt like his constant and consistent presence before sleep took her chased the worst of the nightmares away.]
Those were some of my favorite moments, too. Even if I would dream of thermodynamics.
[The textbooks were sometimes the best because he was so invested in them.]
You read to me like you'd been doing it my whole life.
And in the morning, at breakfast, you'd try to act like your neck wasn't stiff.
[They were both younger, then, but she noticed. It's a memory that makes her feel warm, like the blanket he'd tuck around her before settling in to read. If she ever lived to have children of her own, she would do the same for them. She would want to be everything Gustave was, because in her eyes, he was perfect.]
[Maelle smiles as well, breathing out a laugh. No, never to her. Raising her couldn't have always been easy, but he never let her see his frustrations. He never made her feel like a burden. She only ever felt wanted, for the first time in her life, and it's a feeling she still carries with her.]
I liked you being there. You kept me safe, even back then. I think that's when you felt most like a father to me. You were always so patient.
[ It was what drove him on the continent, a need to keep Maelle safe, to get her home, somewhere all the terrors of that place couldn't threaten her any longer. ]
[ He smiles, and reaches for one of her hands to bring it to his lips, kissing her fingers they way he would when she was small and he would pretend she was a princess to make her laugh. His mustache and stubble brush rough-soft over the delicate skin of her knuckles. ]
[He was always the best to play with, when she was younger and loved make-believe. He was the most inventive whether it came to building castles out of blankets and chairs, or elaborate plotlines that distracted her from her sad orphan beginning. She would give anything to relive those days. To cherish them properly.]
Yeah. You'd better recognize me still, Gustave.
[A year, nine, eighty. He'll forever be 32 while time passes for her.
The hand he kissed reaches out to brush her fingers over his cheek, the scruff of his beard. She has a hundred memories of her cheek against his, her hair getting caught. So many hugs and embraces and moments she'll continue to miss terribly.]
Did you know? I used to hate my red hair. I always wished it was brown, like yours. It made it obvious we weren't related.
[Her eyes are bright from tears, and now amusement. She runs her thumb against the scruff. The memory is as clear as yesterday. He had looked like a completely different man. And not in a good way.]
Oof. You walked down the stairs and scared me. Surprised I didn't start bawling, really.
[ He's laughing now, for real, happy to play the fool and coax her into smiles and happier memories. He remembers it, too — how he remembers it, he doesn't know, but perhaps they're just her memories sifting in through the mind she's created for this dream — the way her eyes had locked onto him, startled, and then widened in horror. ]
[Maybe, maybe not, but she laughs. The childhood he gave her made up for the years that came before. Her other hand lifts to press to Gustave's other cheek--sandwiching his face between her hands.]
Yeah. This is what I want to remember. You're always so... silly, despite everything. I think you made me laugh every single day we had together.
[Such a silly face. Sillier still, when she gives a little smoosh.]
More than a little. Give yourself some credit.
[Without him, she knows she would be a sorry shadow of the person she is now. She worries, somewhat, about what she'll become without him, but maybe if she keeps the memory of moments like these close to her heart, she'll be okay.]
[He's a clown. It's what won Maelle over so easily--Gustave never took himself too seriously. He loved to create and be imaginative and joke. Anything to make her laugh. She drops her hands to his shoulders, not wanting to pull them away entirely, as if he might disappear if she lets go again.]
All those times I was supposed to be helping her with the chores and you would sneak me off to your workshop.
How I hoped you would show even the slightest bit of interest in engineering.
[ She hadn't, but he took her with him anyway, simply because he knew she loved to be with him, even if she didn't understand and wasn't interested in what he was doing. ]
Showing you sketches for new designs... trying to teach you about mass balance...
[She did try. She paid attention, and while some of it made a little sense to her, it never took. She was never particularly good at anything but swordplay and getting from one end of the city to the other in record time.
A smile stays on her face as she looks at him, though it's soft around the edges.]
I know. I wish I got into it, too. I hope I didn't disappoint you too much.
[He didn't lack for apprentices.]
I'm glad we spent all that time together.
[Never enough, especially looking back, but she loved being with him and he loved being with her.]
We did get a lot of time together. All of my favorite days were with you. Every happy memory was because of you.
[He didn't need to try. Simply sitting quietly together, or listening to him talk to Emma about his day over dinner, or a walk down to the harbor on a sunny day--how loved she felt, how safe, even if Lumiere itself never felt right. He did.]
You'd never looked so unhappy with me as you did the day I told you I was going with. But... it was worth it. Every extra moment was worth it.
[No matter how horrific the end. She got more time with him. That's all that matters.]
[ He remembers it, or thinks he does. Maybe it's more that Maelle remembers it, and so he does, too: that afternoon in the Hanging Gardens, his shock, their argument. One corner of his lips flickers up into a small smile, and he reaches to put a hand on her arm, warm and firm and supportive. ]
But you have to go make some new memories now. The others, they need you. Just like I did.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
#blessed
[It's fine. Everyone has broken, cobbled together families. They were simply one another's family, and how special that is.]
I could tell you were happy. I never once doubted if you regretted taking me in.
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[ He had been happy, being there with Maelle as she grew up, having evenings and weekends and holidays with her and Emma, the little family he'd loved so much. It's one of the reasons he'd decided he wanted children after all, after helping her negotiate her way from childhood into teendom.
He wishes he could see the woman she'll become. ]
Do you remember when you first came to stay with us, and I would come read by your bedside to help you fall asleep?
[ His voice, as low and soothing as he could make it as he read from whatever was on hand: storybooks, sometimes; newspapers at others. Once in a while he'd even use some of his engineering texts: a surefire way to put her to sleep quickly. ]
Those were some of my favorite moments.
no subject
[Previous families had tried to read to her, but Gustave made it feel comfortable and safe. Even if the threat of nightmares frightened her, she would look forward to whatever bedtime story he would have. Eventually, it felt like his constant and consistent presence before sleep took her chased the worst of the nightmares away.]
Those were some of my favorite moments, too. Even if I would dream of thermodynamics.
[The textbooks were sometimes the best because he was so invested in them.]
You read to me like you'd been doing it my whole life.
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[ He squints thoughtfully, exaggerated. ]
Slightly better, anyway.
Emma would come and find me dozing in that chair at your bedside.
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[They were both younger, then, but she noticed. It's a memory that makes her feel warm, like the blanket he'd tuck around her before settling in to read. If she ever lived to have children of her own, she would do the same for them. She would want to be everything Gustave was, because in her eyes, he was perfect.]
You never complained.
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[ But he's teasing, his smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. ]
I liked being there with you.
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I liked you being there. You kept me safe, even back then. I think that's when you felt most like a father to me. You were always so patient.
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[ It was what drove him on the continent, a need to keep Maelle safe, to get her home, somewhere all the terrors of that place couldn't threaten her any longer. ]
You'll have to do that for yourself, now.
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Oh, you did. You kept me safer than anyone else ever could. You taught me how...
[Her voice cracks. Traitor. She clears her throat.]
I wish it was still you, but I can do it. All the things I've learned from you will keep me safe.
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Remember your promise.
[ To live, as long and as happily as she can. ]
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Yeah. You'd better recognize me still, Gustave.
[A year, nine, eighty. He'll forever be 32 while time passes for her.
The hand he kissed reaches out to brush her fingers over his cheek, the scruff of his beard. She has a hundred memories of her cheek against his, her hair getting caught. So many hugs and embraces and moments she'll continue to miss terribly.]
Did you know? I used to hate my red hair. I always wished it was brown, like yours. It made it obvious we weren't related.
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You'd look cute as a brunette. But I like the red. Suits you.
[ She brushes her fingers against his beard and he smiles, turning his head a little into her touch. ]
Remember the time I shaved? First time you ever saw me without a beard, I think.
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[Her eyes are bright from tears, and now amusement. She runs her thumb against the scruff. The memory is as clear as yesterday. He had looked like a completely different man. And not in a good way.]
Oof. You walked down the stairs and scared me. Surprised I didn't start bawling, really.
no subject
[ He's laughing now, for real, happy to play the fool and coax her into smiles and happier memories. He remembers it, too — how he remembers it, he doesn't know, but perhaps they're just her memories sifting in through the mind she's created for this dream — the way her eyes had locked onto him, startled, and then widened in horror. ]
It wasn't that bad.
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[Maybe, maybe not, but she laughs. The childhood he gave her made up for the years that came before. Her other hand lifts to press to Gustave's other cheek--sandwiching his face between her hands.]
Yeah. This is what I want to remember. You're always so... silly, despite everything. I think you made me laugh every single day we had together.
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It was easy. You could always find the fun in anything. All I did was... open the door for you, a little.
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More than a little. Give yourself some credit.
[Without him, she knows she would be a sorry shadow of the person she is now. She worries, somewhat, about what she'll become without him, but maybe if she keeps the memory of moments like these close to her heart, she'll be okay.]
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Oh, don't worry, I give myself plenty of credit. Clearly it was me and not Emma who was the better role model.
[ Absolutely not. ]
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All those times I was supposed to be helping her with the chores and you would sneak me off to your workshop.
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[ She hadn't, but he took her with him anyway, simply because he knew she loved to be with him, even if she didn't understand and wasn't interested in what he was doing. ]
Showing you sketches for new designs... trying to teach you about mass balance...
no subject
A smile stays on her face as she looks at him, though it's soft around the edges.]
I know. I wish I got into it, too. I hope I didn't disappoint you too much.
[He didn't lack for apprentices.]
I'm glad we spent all that time together.
[Never enough, especially looking back, but she loved being with him and he loved being with her.]
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[ The very idea feels like an utter impossibility. How could he be disappointed in Maelle simply being Maelle, when he loves her so much? ]
I only wish we'd taken you in sooner. But we got a lot of time together, didn't we? And I'm glad you came on the Expedition, in the end.
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[He didn't need to try. Simply sitting quietly together, or listening to him talk to Emma about his day over dinner, or a walk down to the harbor on a sunny day--how loved she felt, how safe, even if Lumiere itself never felt right. He did.]
You'd never looked so unhappy with me as you did the day I told you I was going with. But... it was worth it. Every extra moment was worth it.
[No matter how horrific the end. She got more time with him. That's all that matters.]
no subject
[ He remembers it, or thinks he does. Maybe it's more that Maelle remembers it, and so he does, too: that afternoon in the Hanging Gardens, his shock, their argument. One corner of his lips flickers up into a small smile, and he reaches to put a hand on her arm, warm and firm and supportive. ]
But you have to go make some new memories now. The others, they need you. Just like I did.