[Renoir directs his gaze towards Gustave for a moment.
He thinks of Expedition Zero and how their journey had come to an untimely end. Killed by the truth much as by a stranger who resembled his daughter. It had been a peculiar situation, and the thought redirects his focus back towards the fire. The embers and sparks are both a grounding and disturbing sight.
For a moment, he looks empathatic.
Keeping people alive. Keeping his family alive. He is willing to be scorned and hated, so long as his children are alive to hate him.]
[ It doesn't feel like enough. Maelle is the flickering candle flame that's lit his life and Emma's ever since she came to them. She was his little shadow, following him to the Hanging Gardens, around the house, around Lumiere, always happy to chatter about her day or his, always willing to tease him out of any blue moods gathering like storm clouds about his head. He'd lost Sophie and the life they might have had, but he still had Maelle.
Still has Maelle. He has to believe she's somewhere out there, safe and alive, that his failure to protect her hadn't cost her the rest of her already too-short life. ]
She's my sister. [ His expression flickers, scrunches: that's not quite right. ] My daughter.
...Both, sort of. I can't...
[ His head tilts to the side, glance sliding away. It's always been difficult for him to find the words he needs when he's trying to talk about someone, something, that really matters. His hands lift, moving back and forth through the air, as if he could more accurately illustrate the words that are escaping him. ]
She's— well, my sister and I, we, uh—
[ He grimaces at himself and lets his hands drop to hand loosely over his knees. ]
[His voice has an authorative tone, pushing the limits until he discovers when this man will cede his authority. Because he needs to get ahead of this small team, ensure he can lead them down the right path, if not the correct one.
He frowns at the fire and remembers the team he had before. The other teams he had guided before. All towards that same fatal end. It always happened that they would be lost.
Always]
You should focus on your rest.
[He doesn't explain why he is willing to stay away overnight to mind the camp. His immortality is a... rather sore point.]
[ His head tips forward in a motion that isn't quite a nod, shaggy hair shifting in the light breeze, but it's all the acknowledgement he offers for the moment. ]
Tomorrow. You're sure?
[ He's like a hunting dog that's caught a scent, tense even in this outwardly relaxed position. It's in the line of his shoulders, the way he twitches his thumb, anxious. Maelle's been on her own now for days. Has she had food? Water? Shelter? What if she's been threatened by Nevrons? She's wickedly skilled with her blade, but she's still used to training against other expeditioners, not the things themselves. ]
[This man does not understand. But he can acknowledge the idea of living in an illusion, of having some external force tear down the walls of the reality you thought you knew.
He continues staring into the fire. All the fires he has set over the years, all the journals he had destroyed, all the evidence he has dismantled and picked apart until everything was hidden and nothing was recognisable.]
You might not find her tomorrow. But you will if she knows how to stay out of danger.
[ The breath that punches out of him tries to be amused, rueful, but he can't stop the swirl of guilt beneath it. ]
Maelle? Not much chance of that.
[ His fearless sister? The one who ran over rooftops as lightly as a bird in flight? Who took to the rapier like she was born to it? Who would rather duel for dominance than settle an argument with words? ]
...I should never have agreed to let her come. I should have tried harder to get her to stay in Lumiere.
She'll probably think it's more imperative that she keep an eye on me.
[ Maelle's always been just as protective of him as he is of her. If she really is all right, safe, then she's probably just as worried as he's been. What would her last glimpse of him have been? A slumped, motionless figure on the beach? ]
But you're right. Of course, you're right. I'm sure you know exactly how I feel.
[The spark of understanding is a light behind his eyes: cold and guarded against the interference of the outside world. Imagine the things he has seen. Those things he wishes he had never seen at all.
He will fall silent after the last words he has to share, but share them he will.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2025-05-20 04:16 am (UTC)He thinks of Expedition Zero and how their journey had come to an untimely end. Killed by the truth much as by a stranger who resembled his daughter. It had been a peculiar situation, and the thought redirects his focus back towards the fire. The embers and sparks are both a grounding and disturbing sight.
For a moment, he looks empathatic.
Keeping people alive. Keeping his family alive. He is willing to be scorned and hated, so long as his children are alive to hate him.]
You truly love that girl, don't you?
[Maelle.]
no subject
Date: 2025-05-20 04:41 pm (UTC)[ It doesn't feel like enough. Maelle is the flickering candle flame that's lit his life and Emma's ever since she came to them. She was his little shadow, following him to the Hanging Gardens, around the house, around Lumiere, always happy to chatter about her day or his, always willing to tease him out of any blue moods gathering like storm clouds about his head. He'd lost Sophie and the life they might have had, but he still had Maelle.
Still has Maelle. He has to believe she's somewhere out there, safe and alive, that his failure to protect her hadn't cost her the rest of her already too-short life. ]
She's my sister. [ His expression flickers, scrunches: that's not quite right. ] My daughter.
...Both, sort of. I can't...
[ His head tilts to the side, glance sliding away. It's always been difficult for him to find the words he needs when he's trying to talk about someone, something, that really matters. His hands lift, moving back and forth through the air, as if he could more accurately illustrate the words that are escaping him. ]
She's— well, my sister and I, we, uh—
[ He grimaces at himself and lets his hands drop to hand loosely over his knees. ]
Yes, I do. I have to find her.
no subject
Date: 2025-05-21 12:18 am (UTC)[His voice has an authorative tone, pushing the limits until he discovers when this man will cede his authority. Because he needs to get ahead of this small team, ensure he can lead them down the right path, if not the correct one.
He frowns at the fire and remembers the team he had before. The other teams he had guided before. All towards that same fatal end. It always happened that they would be lost.
Always]
You should focus on your rest.
[He doesn't explain why he is willing to stay away overnight to mind the camp. His immortality is a... rather sore point.]
no subject
Date: 2025-05-21 12:51 am (UTC)Tomorrow. You're sure?
[ He's like a hunting dog that's caught a scent, tense even in this outwardly relaxed position. It's in the line of his shoulders, the way he twitches his thumb, anxious. Maelle's been on her own now for days. Has she had food? Water? Shelter? What if she's been threatened by Nevrons? She's wickedly skilled with her blade, but she's still used to training against other expeditioners, not the things themselves. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-05-21 08:45 pm (UTC)He continues staring into the fire. All the fires he has set over the years, all the journals he had destroyed, all the evidence he has dismantled and picked apart until everything was hidden and nothing was recognisable.]
You might not find her tomorrow. But you will if she knows how to stay out of danger.
[Or how to stay put.]
no subject
Date: 2025-05-22 04:16 pm (UTC)Maelle? Not much chance of that.
[ His fearless sister? The one who ran over rooftops as lightly as a bird in flight? Who took to the rapier like she was born to it? Who would rather duel for dominance than settle an argument with words? ]
...I should never have agreed to let her come. I should have tried harder to get her to stay in Lumiere.
no subject
Date: 2025-05-22 04:51 pm (UTC)[Sons too. But when he considers the challenges one faces daily, he cannot deny he has a fondness in his heart for one of his daughters.]
Of course, it's better that she stays around you. That way you can keep your eye on her.
[If you can't lock her inside a manor for most of her life, at least have her nearby. Right?]
no subject
Date: 2025-05-22 06:35 pm (UTC)[ Maelle's always been just as protective of him as he is of her. If she really is all right, safe, then she's probably just as worried as he's been. What would her last glimpse of him have been? A slumped, motionless figure on the beach? ]
But you're right. Of course, you're right. I'm sure you know exactly how I feel.
no subject
Date: 2025-05-22 06:56 pm (UTC)He will fall silent after the last words he has to share, but share them he will.]
Nothing is more important than family.
[Relationship level increased to 1!]