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𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 ⊹ 𝒆𝒑𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒚 ⊹ 𝒗𝒊𝒔𝒖𝒂𝒍
 

Date: 2025-05-09 01:19 am (UTC)
maellum: (Default)
From: [personal profile] maellum
[Held, safe and sure, she simply cries against him. Cries and clings until she can manage more words. As freeing as it is to weep in the arms of the person she loves most, time is precious and fleeting and what a terrible thing it would be to only cry.

She struggles to breathe, to speak, but she manages. She keeps her face buried against Gustave.]


I wish--I wish we had more time together. It's not enough. There are so many things I've--I should have asked, or said...

[The Gommage was always the sword over his neck, and then the Paintress and the continent, but she always thought they would have more time.]

Date: 2025-05-09 02:29 am (UTC)
maellum: (Default)
From: [personal profile] maellum
[Maelle reaches a hand up to take the handkerchief. Even this is familiar, and her eyes linger on it, recalling all the times he'd used it to dry her tears. It's almost enough to make them fall anew, but she sucks in a breath, wiping at her smeared tears and dabbing at her wet nose. She's quiet as she does so, and for several heartbeats after. She can't believe there was a last time she sparred with him, laughed with him, or saw his smile. Their time together was stolen.]

--you were the best thing in my life. [The words blurt out before she's ready to say them, a tremble in her voice. Once the dam is open, she can't stop, pained expression on her face. This hurts. She waited too long.] That I love you and I was so happy with you and Emma. You're my father and my brother and I'm so grateful for that. You know, don't you? Please. Please, tell me you know.

[Maelle was plenty affectionate, tactile and sweet with Gustave and Emma, but she was also young. The words didn't come easily, and so often it was easier to hide what vulnerability she could. And she thinks Gustave knew--there wouldn't be such warmth in his eyes when he looked at her if he didn't, she reasons. Maybe it didn't need to be said.

But he deserved to hear it from her more than he did. That, she can never fix.]

Date: 2025-05-09 03:00 am (UTC)
maellum: (Default)
From: [personal profile] maellum
[She bites her bottom lip, just barely keeping in the sob of relief when he says he knows. It feels so good to hear him say it. Her hand grasps his wrist, and maybe if she never lets him go she'll never lose him again.]

I was happy with you. [The tears are there, in her eyes, but she can still breathe.] So happy. You saved me. And I, I couldn't...

[Save him. She will kill Renoir and she will find pleasure in it. She'll run him through and discard him on the floor and look into his lifeless eyes and feel justified. Again, Maelle squeezes her eyes shut. When she chases away the sickening anger, there's something wounded there. Something small, when she next manages to speak, looking to Gustave with exasperated sadness.]

You promised me you would run.

Date: 2025-05-09 05:50 pm (UTC)
maellum: (Default)
From: [personal profile] maellum
[Maelle allows herself to be led, hand holding onto his. She doesn't want to let go. When she sits, she looks at their hands. He feels real. Looks real. If only this were still her reality.

She has no appetite, but reluctantly uncurls her fingers from Gustave's hand and reaches for the bread. Soft and warm when nothing on the continent offers that. Even the vibrant parts of the land have been dull since Gustave's death. Only here do things have color again.

With a sniffle, her gaze returns to Gustave. There's no need to memorize everything about him because it's already committed to memory.]


I don't think you want this back.

[Her other hand holds his handkerchief. It's damp.

Above all, she misses his open heart and his silly nature. He could always make her smile, and she tries so hard to muster one up for him. To joke, even as her heart aches.]


It's moist.

Date: 2025-05-09 06:59 pm (UTC)
maellum: (Default)
From: [personal profile] maellum
[Maelle falls silent. She does know. It's the same reason she so desperately tried to get to him. Why this all hurts so much. Her lips purse together as she tries to keep her breathing level.

She almost succeeds.]


You... were never going to keep that promise, were you? Not as long as I was there. You knew it when we talked about it at camp.

[She can't be upset with him for it. All her rage and anger is for Renoir. And the Paintress, for being an obstacle. Gustave only ever did his best. He was good. Nothing will ever tarnish her opinion of him.

Her eyes fall to the glass, to the bread in her hand. She puts it down on the small plate before her and takes a slow breath before looking to him again.]


I don't know what to do without you.

[Such would have always been the case. Gommage or otherwise, he was so ingrained in her every day, thought, view of the world.]

Date: 2025-05-09 11:19 pm (UTC)
maellum: (Default)
From: [personal profile] maellum
[The knot in her throat grows. She doesn't want to talk about moving forward. Kill the Paintress. Kill Renoir. After that--she can't fathom what the world looks like. What Emma would look like, hearing her brother died. What his apprentices will look like, when she hands them Gustave's journal, her own accounts splotched with teardrops and lacking his attention to detail.

She doesn't know what to say. So little helps the pain. After a quiet that feels too long, hands twisting the handkerchief in her lap, she swallows around the heavy lump in her throat.]


You miss Sophie. I try to... remember that. Maybe you'll figure out how to make it work by the time I see you again, yeah?

[While she doesn't know exactly why they broke up, she's sure he fumbled. Somehow. Probably. That thought gives her some solace. The next life.]

Date: 2025-05-10 12:43 am (UTC)
maellum: (Default)
From: [personal profile] maellum
[It's no wonder he and Sciel got along so well. In some topsy turvy world she thinks they both would have been wonderful parents together, and maybe in some way they were to her, though at different times. Still, Maelle is entirely biased--Gustave's warmth and way of knowing what just to say is unique to him, to their bond.]

I'll stop her. I'll stop the Paintress, and I'll kill him for what he did to us. To everyone. Just...

[Glassy eyes meet his, serious, even if she sounds childish to her own ears.]

Make me a new promise. Don't forget me. I promise to live as long as you wait for me this time.

[Living is easy. Being happy is another matter.]

Date: 2025-05-10 02:23 am (UTC)
maellum: (Default)
From: [personal profile] maellum
[It's not the same as having him by her side. Physically. A comfort, always, be it his remarks on whatever was going on around them, or some thought he had to share, or a joke, or a face he'd pull when only she was looking. She supposes she understands now how he must have felt losing his arm. He's her lost limb, some part of her gone forever, but there's no fabricated part to replace him.

Verso may feel like a possibility on paper, a man missing a sister while she's missing a brother and how convenient that is, but he is not Gustave.]


A real promise, this time.

[She holds up her pinky.]

Date: 2025-05-10 02:09 pm (UTC)
maellum: (Default)
From: [personal profile] maellum
For you, and for everyone at the beach.

[That day haunted them all, but Gustave, especially. Maelle drops her hand back down to her lap, watching him. She has so many questions, so many conversations to have yet, but she knows she could spend a lifetime with him and still not be done.

One does manage to come to the forefront and make it out of her mouth, however.]


Were you there? Beneath that tree in the forest. Where we laid you to rest. Could you hear us?

[She hopes so. For Lune and Sciel's sake, too.]

Date: 2025-05-11 05:42 pm (UTC)
maellum: (Default)
From: [personal profile] maellum
They're not you.

[They're dear to her, but they're not Gustave. He was supposed to be her final one. Try as they might, she knows that bond between her and Gustave was something unique. They simply fit well, hearts or souls or natures aligned.]

You set the bar too high, I guess.

the crying never stops.... this game!!!!!!

Date: 2025-05-11 07:27 pm (UTC)
maellum: (Default)
From: [personal profile] maellum
[He does make her breathe out something that sounds near enough to a laugh, throat still tight. Even now, he still can manage to make her smile. Even if it's sad around the edges.]

I do. I really, really do.

[A single tear rolls down her round cheek, falling off her chin.]

I was so desperate to see the world before my Gommage. So determined to go with you on the expedition. But, I think... no. I know, a part of me didn't want to face what the world would be like without you. If you died on the expedition, what were the chances I'd survive?

[Higher than she realized, apparently.]

I didn't want this.

Date: 2025-05-11 08:07 pm (UTC)
maellum: (Default)
From: [personal profile] maellum
Yeah. I know. I'm... it's okay. I mean, it's not okay, but... I'm not mad at you. I could never be.

[She's a teenager. Inevitably, they had their spats, her silent treatments and little acts of rebellion here and there over the years. But he died for her. She knew, always, he would never let harm come to her if he had any say in the matter.

She just never thought she'd watch him go to the slaughter before her very eyes. She can still recall the heat of his blood on her face.]


I know you'd rather be with us.

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